- The Married Man - Never ever get involved with someone as long as they are in a commited relationship, no matter how dramatic he claims his relationship to be, as long as he is a part of this dramatic scene stay at least 1000 miles away from his stage. You do not want to be that home wrecker who made him walk away from his family, so just keep your distance.
- The Negative Man - He always complains about everything in his life, he hates almost everyone and everything, and you can't see him smiling or laughing unless the alcohol percentage in his body reached 80%.
- The Kiddo - You know women are the new men nowadays.. We do not want a child to take care of, we want a grown up to take care of us. If he relies on you to wake him up at 7:00 AM to go to his work, or to remind him of his car payments at the end of each month, or drive him home on a Friday night because he is too wasted to get his ass back home that means he is a kiddo and he want a mommy not a partner.
- The Drama King - Oh those are my favorites!! I tend to be a magnet for the drama kings in the world.. They feed on sadness and tragedy, as long as you both are happy together and you are not fighting he isn't satisfied.. The second a fight occurs, he is a new person!! He starts to listen to the saddest songs ever, grow his beard, cry to his friends, your friends, and anyone he sees on the streets! He stares at your pictures for hours and write poems.. then when you get back together he will be counting the minutes for your next argument.
- The Bragger - I hate those men who think they can trick you to think he is so rich and powerful.. you know we are going to find out that you own a Honda Civic! and the Ferrari that you say is at the workshop is just an illusion of your own fantacies.. Im not saying Hondas aren't cool, Im just saying don't be ashamed of what you have.
- The Womanizer - Those are the most dangerous because of the charm they reflect, and you will actually believe he will change and you will make him love you and forget about the trillion other women in his life. Well guess what.. He won't! The womanizer lusts the varieties of women out there, and no matter how hard you try to combine all the attributes of all the women in you, you won't succeed. Well maybe you will if you dye half your hair blonde and half black.. one blue contact lense in one eye and the other green.. don't alienize yourself, cause im telling you.. you will look like an alien!
10/31/09
'Scratch and Win' Part 2
I was supposed to post this a week or more ago as i promised, but again, people tend to not keep their promises.. so prepare yourself for dissapointment until you reach a point where you never take any promise seriously. Oh..I forgot, I also changed my mind regarding this topic.. I figured out that you do not need to scratch in order to win, infact you do not have to win or care about winning.. He should be scratching his way into winning your heart and you should be sitting on that judge chair just like Paula Abdul on American Idol observing your candidates and their best performances then deciding wether they deserve to go on the second round or not. Below is a list of contestants that you should vote NO to from the first try:
10/19/09
'Scratch and Win' Part 1
You are on your feet again and ready for a new relationship to pop up in your life.. We managed to get you out of your previous one alive, and now its time for you to shield yourself for the coming new love. I will give you some tips that will allow you to scratch your way to winning your new man's heart.
First tip is to remember you should always look pretty!!! If your Diesel jeans is getting stuck at your knees and you can't pull it up, or if you have to sleep on your back for you to zip it, that means you better start on a diet NOW. After you lose some weight, make sure to go to the gym and stretch up your body. Your body is two third of your whole look which makes it get hell lot of points. Don't over do it though, skinny is ugly!
The other one third remaining which is your face and hair is also very important, take care of your skin and keep your hair looking neat. Do not over use makeup or else you would look like a freaky clown.
Your looks make the first impression, and guys are very visual.. when he first see you he will not get impressed by how well educated you are or the great sense of humor you have got.
Looking pretty is not something you do just for him, it will infuse your self confidence which will reflect on how you behave as well. There is nothing worse than a woman with low self esteem.. so make sure you stand up straight and keep your head up...
Its nice to be fashionable, but some fashion items are only for you to watch on Fashion TV.. always pick the fashion items that best suit your personality and avoid wearing very revealing clothes ( if you show a lot of skin you will be labeled as 'the hottie or the ****', and he will add you to his 'Must Do' list instead of the 'Must Know' one). The secret here is balance.. If you wear a short skirt, wear a covered top and if you wear a revealing top wear it with jeans or regular pants. Make sure to dress nicely and look your best all the time even if you go to the grocery store.. you never know where or when you are going to meet him!!
The second tip you need to know is to walk away from the guy you really like. Have you ever wondered why does the guy you know from work keep calling you when you do not answer most of times? and why does he keep texting you and remembering your birthday and getting you gifts while you never showed him face? Well here we go, it is because you never showed any interest in him and you were nice enough to not say it to his face.. Guys love challenge, the harder it gets the better he feels when he finally wins your heart, and when he feels better about it he will make sure not to let you go so fast. So ladies, listen to your mom when she tells you playing hard to get is the key to a successful relationship.
Third tip is that he should never take you forgranted after you start dating. Do not cling to him so much and show him he is your air and water, the moment you do that he will stop exerting effort to keep you since he knows you cannot live without him! Have a life of your own even when you are together.. go out with your friends, persue your dreams, and have your 'Me' time. Make sure he knows that he is a priority in your life but there lies other priorities as well, and never ever let him the one who decides the fate of your relationship or your life. Never ask him when are we getting married, this will empower him to feel that it is totally up to him and according to his own time, and whenever he is ready he expects you to be there with a veil on your head waiting for his majesty.
Start learning those three and practice them, and tomorrow i will be adding more winning tips hoping to prevent you from falling again.
First tip is to remember you should always look pretty!!! If your Diesel jeans is getting stuck at your knees and you can't pull it up, or if you have to sleep on your back for you to zip it, that means you better start on a diet NOW. After you lose some weight, make sure to go to the gym and stretch up your body. Your body is two third of your whole look which makes it get hell lot of points. Don't over do it though, skinny is ugly!
The other one third remaining which is your face and hair is also very important, take care of your skin and keep your hair looking neat. Do not over use makeup or else you would look like a freaky clown.
Your looks make the first impression, and guys are very visual.. when he first see you he will not get impressed by how well educated you are or the great sense of humor you have got.
Looking pretty is not something you do just for him, it will infuse your self confidence which will reflect on how you behave as well. There is nothing worse than a woman with low self esteem.. so make sure you stand up straight and keep your head up...
Its nice to be fashionable, but some fashion items are only for you to watch on Fashion TV.. always pick the fashion items that best suit your personality and avoid wearing very revealing clothes ( if you show a lot of skin you will be labeled as 'the hottie or the ****', and he will add you to his 'Must Do' list instead of the 'Must Know' one). The secret here is balance.. If you wear a short skirt, wear a covered top and if you wear a revealing top wear it with jeans or regular pants. Make sure to dress nicely and look your best all the time even if you go to the grocery store.. you never know where or when you are going to meet him!!
The second tip you need to know is to walk away from the guy you really like. Have you ever wondered why does the guy you know from work keep calling you when you do not answer most of times? and why does he keep texting you and remembering your birthday and getting you gifts while you never showed him face? Well here we go, it is because you never showed any interest in him and you were nice enough to not say it to his face.. Guys love challenge, the harder it gets the better he feels when he finally wins your heart, and when he feels better about it he will make sure not to let you go so fast. So ladies, listen to your mom when she tells you playing hard to get is the key to a successful relationship.
Third tip is that he should never take you forgranted after you start dating. Do not cling to him so much and show him he is your air and water, the moment you do that he will stop exerting effort to keep you since he knows you cannot live without him! Have a life of your own even when you are together.. go out with your friends, persue your dreams, and have your 'Me' time. Make sure he knows that he is a priority in your life but there lies other priorities as well, and never ever let him the one who decides the fate of your relationship or your life. Never ask him when are we getting married, this will empower him to feel that it is totally up to him and according to his own time, and whenever he is ready he expects you to be there with a veil on your head waiting for his majesty.
Start learning those three and practice them, and tomorrow i will be adding more winning tips hoping to prevent you from falling again.
10/17/09
"Thanks for everything Joy, but i have everything but Joy in my life now." victim
So he cheated, you broke up with him but this time you know that not even a miracle will be able to get you back together. You are confronted with the fact that you lost not only a partner but a part of yourself as well, you lost light...
Suddenly it became so dark, you can no longer see things clearly and you start to bump against everything surrounding you. You feel scared and lost, you can even hear your own heart beat and you cannot feel your legs anymore! your whole body is on a strike refusing to function properly asking for the pampering and attention it used to get before the collapse.
You desperately want to get out of your darkness.. you start looking for a candle to light, hoping that the flicker of your flame maybe able to guide you, only to realize that flames only destroy and burn whatever hope that is left in you. You rush to find that blue flashlight you once kept in one of your kitchen drawers but you now have no sense of direction to even lead you to your own kitchen!
You can see a far tiny glimpse of light and you decide to follow it, hoping it may lead you to light.. you start crawling on the harsh cold wooden floor, touching that tiny light that is reflected on the floor as if you were trying to hold on to your last hope of surviving.
Million thoughts rushed into your mind, and million questions followed.. you had flashbacks of the first time you met, and the last time you did.. how he used to guide you and be there for you when you needed him, and how he had been there for her when SHE needed him.. you can still smell his scent with each fearful short breath you take, and you remembered the midget version of your face that you were able to see in his sparkling eye pupil when you used to stare at each other for hours..
You have now the ultimate emotional cocktail that includes all sweet and sour flavours blended with ice to cool down the hot taste of pain. Your questions kept haunting you.. and they all started with 'Why'.. Why do my tears fall for someone who never really loved me? Why is it I miss him after all what he has done? And why do I love someone whose love was never really mine? Why did he hurt me? Why did this happen to me? Why did i trust him? ... and you get this hurricane of questions that cause you a flood that wants answers. You gather all the power you have got -which cannot operate a small racing car toy- and decided to seek answers for all your questions believing that the answers will free you. As long as you seek answers, you will get deeper and deeper in this triple gravity sucking hole that goes all the way down to the boiling center of earth.
Grab my hand...i will try to walk you through it. I am not an angel who performs miracles, nor a love doctor who can prescribe 500mg dose of anti-hurt medication... I'm also not a witch who can cook the 'forget he existed' soup. I am only a woman who has been in the exact same hole you are in, and after a long time of darkness, and the power of trial and error, managed to see the light.
Stop asking yourself why, you will never find a satisfying answer, but i will give you one answer that you can apply to all your questions.. Because life is not a Disney movie where all love stories end up with the a girl living happily every after with her handsome prince. Life is unfair! just deal with it!
I will try to give you some advice on how you can deal with it with the absence of his presence. First you need to grief and let it all out, cry and scream as much as you can, stay in your pajamas as much as you like, feel the pain and sadness until you are all cried out and your eyeballs are so dry that you can feel them cracking. You can calculate the grief length according to the lifetime of your destroyed relationship using this formula: 1 year of relationship = 1 month of grief
After you are done with grief, it is time to open a new page .. but before you do, you should now go back to previous chapters in your book, look for the pages that are related to your relationship, take them out and burn them in your fireplace. (if you don't have one, you can use any metal bowl or sink.. or get yourself a fireplace! they add an amazing charm to any room).
Ok some of you may say 'What Book!!' I haven't got any books except the 'Atkins Diet' book and the 'Speak French in One Week' booklet.. Well I'm going to be nice here only because you are broken hearted. I mean you have to throw away every memory of him. That's right.. delete all his emails and SMS messages, and ofcourse his number (which I am certain you know it by heart, but still you do not want his name on your phonebook), delete all his pictures if you have them on your computer or burn them if you have the hardcopy ones (I wonder if people still have those!!), throw all his gifts, give away your clothes that reminded you of certain dates you had with him to charity, delete him off your FB and MSN, and warn your friends to never mention his name infront of you.
Now that he doesn't exist in your life anymore, or anything that reminds you of him (except your evil memory that will be lost with time), focus on yourself to regain the parts you lost ( could be the gaining parts too such as the extra ponds you have put on! ).
I am suggesting 15 helpful tips that have helped me out personally:
Suddenly it became so dark, you can no longer see things clearly and you start to bump against everything surrounding you. You feel scared and lost, you can even hear your own heart beat and you cannot feel your legs anymore! your whole body is on a strike refusing to function properly asking for the pampering and attention it used to get before the collapse.
You desperately want to get out of your darkness.. you start looking for a candle to light, hoping that the flicker of your flame maybe able to guide you, only to realize that flames only destroy and burn whatever hope that is left in you. You rush to find that blue flashlight you once kept in one of your kitchen drawers but you now have no sense of direction to even lead you to your own kitchen!
You can see a far tiny glimpse of light and you decide to follow it, hoping it may lead you to light.. you start crawling on the harsh cold wooden floor, touching that tiny light that is reflected on the floor as if you were trying to hold on to your last hope of surviving.
Million thoughts rushed into your mind, and million questions followed.. you had flashbacks of the first time you met, and the last time you did.. how he used to guide you and be there for you when you needed him, and how he had been there for her when SHE needed him.. you can still smell his scent with each fearful short breath you take, and you remembered the midget version of your face that you were able to see in his sparkling eye pupil when you used to stare at each other for hours..
You have now the ultimate emotional cocktail that includes all sweet and sour flavours blended with ice to cool down the hot taste of pain. Your questions kept haunting you.. and they all started with 'Why'.. Why do my tears fall for someone who never really loved me? Why is it I miss him after all what he has done? And why do I love someone whose love was never really mine? Why did he hurt me? Why did this happen to me? Why did i trust him? ... and you get this hurricane of questions that cause you a flood that wants answers. You gather all the power you have got -which cannot operate a small racing car toy- and decided to seek answers for all your questions believing that the answers will free you. As long as you seek answers, you will get deeper and deeper in this triple gravity sucking hole that goes all the way down to the boiling center of earth.
Grab my hand...i will try to walk you through it. I am not an angel who performs miracles, nor a love doctor who can prescribe 500mg dose of anti-hurt medication... I'm also not a witch who can cook the 'forget he existed' soup. I am only a woman who has been in the exact same hole you are in, and after a long time of darkness, and the power of trial and error, managed to see the light.
Stop asking yourself why, you will never find a satisfying answer, but i will give you one answer that you can apply to all your questions.. Because life is not a Disney movie where all love stories end up with the a girl living happily every after with her handsome prince. Life is unfair! just deal with it!
I will try to give you some advice on how you can deal with it with the absence of his presence. First you need to grief and let it all out, cry and scream as much as you can, stay in your pajamas as much as you like, feel the pain and sadness until you are all cried out and your eyeballs are so dry that you can feel them cracking. You can calculate the grief length according to the lifetime of your destroyed relationship using this formula: 1 year of relationship = 1 month of grief
After you are done with grief, it is time to open a new page .. but before you do, you should now go back to previous chapters in your book, look for the pages that are related to your relationship, take them out and burn them in your fireplace. (if you don't have one, you can use any metal bowl or sink.. or get yourself a fireplace! they add an amazing charm to any room).
Ok some of you may say 'What Book!!' I haven't got any books except the 'Atkins Diet' book and the 'Speak French in One Week' booklet.. Well I'm going to be nice here only because you are broken hearted. I mean you have to throw away every memory of him. That's right.. delete all his emails and SMS messages, and ofcourse his number (which I am certain you know it by heart, but still you do not want his name on your phonebook), delete all his pictures if you have them on your computer or burn them if you have the hardcopy ones (I wonder if people still have those!!), throw all his gifts, give away your clothes that reminded you of certain dates you had with him to charity, delete him off your FB and MSN, and warn your friends to never mention his name infront of you.
Now that he doesn't exist in your life anymore, or anything that reminds you of him (except your evil memory that will be lost with time), focus on yourself to regain the parts you lost ( could be the gaining parts too such as the extra ponds you have put on! ).
I am suggesting 15 helpful tips that have helped me out personally:
- Go to the gym and let your energy out. Try going to a 'females only' gym so you wont feel weird with some perverts staring at your butt while you are on the StairMaster. (I suggest Yoga classes, Pilates, and kickboxing).
- Prepare a CD or add certain 'lift up' songs to your Ipod and listen to it in your car or at home, and stay away from cheesy love songs ( I suggest the famous 'I will survive').
- Pamper your self and nourish your beauty.. go to spas and try out different massages ( I suggest Aromatherapy massages), get a hair cut or change your hair color, make sure your nails are always pretty (they really do reflect on how you feel about yourself, nicely shaped eyebrows do the trick too!!).
- Wear colors that are proved to enhance your mood and the moods of people who see you. Gentle shades of green and blue are known to relieve stress and neutral pastel tones create a sense of well-being.
- Eat healthy and use vitamin supplement to help you look vibrant. Vitamin B-complex is your new best friend as its known for its 'feel good' effect.
- Go to the nearest cosmetic store and buy facial beauty products, new makeup, and new perfume.
- Pray and ask god to forgive him for what he did to you, and grant you what you deserve. ( You have to forgive him yourself first, never underestimate the power of forgiveness.. it makes you feel at peace with yourself)
- Never badmouth him.. If his name came up resist mentioning to people how stingy or unfaithful or psycho he was, if you haven't got any nice words to say about him just keep silent ( I know its a very difficult task, but you got to trust me).
- Do not follow your curiousity and ask around to know if he is dating someone new or not, you simply do not care...
- Get yourself a a cute pet (or couple of glowing gold fish) and a new plant ( I suggest you getting a Bonsai Tree), it feels great when you take care of a living a thing.
- I always say that the shortest way for you to be happy is to make someone else happy.. Get involved in charity activities, help the people in need, express your love to those whom you care about. (I started hugging my mother and tell her i love her each morning)
- Read self help books ( I suggest a great book by the great Ahlam Mostaghanmi called 'Nisyan.com' you can read it online on http://www.scribd.com/doc/18373726/- . Another book is called 'Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man' by Steve Harvey).
- Try self hypnosis!! It worked with me!! ( download the Paul Mckenna self hypnosis series, all you got to do is listen to it before you sleep. Paul also has great books you may want to read).
- Try out online games, they really get your mind away from all the hassles of the real world. (FB has great games you might need to try such as Pet Society, Farmville, and Cafe World).
- Last but not least, do not think of yourself as a victim. You are not anymore. ( most of us subconsciously love the idea of being victims, since we get sympathy from others. As long as you feel you are a victim you will not get over him).
10/16/09
Even the Beast cheated on his Beauty !
Joy's third victim is a gorgeous young lady with a beauty that makes the rest of the women look at themselves twice in the mirror... Non of her friends expected her dating an average guy since she is too good to be true, and they were right.. he surely isn't an average guy, he is an ugly looking guy that you either think she dated him because he has tons of cash on him (which unfortunately isn't the case) or that he cast a spell on her! Well it wasn't him who cast a spell it was Cupid who did it..
They met on her first day joining a well known telecom company, it was his first day too.. our victim which i will refer to as 'Beauty' has a hard to get character by nature, she knows she is very pretty and has a lovely personality which is why she walks with her head up all the time. He started trying to get closer to her, he asked to join her during their lunch breaks, compliment her on her new haircut, throw funny jokes here and there.. at first she didn't pay any attention to him, but the guy was so perssistant that his plan actually worked!
After one year of dating she found a better job so she decided to quit and join another company, so he decided to quit as well saying it will be impossible to keep working in the same company without her being around.. at that moment she thought she now owns the world, and she started loving him even more..
They stayed together for two years, during that time he intentionally used to make her lose her self confidence.. he used to criticize they way she dressed, her makeup, the way she laughed, even that fact that she speaks very good English claiming that Arabs should hold on to their language ( of course he wants to hold on to his language.. he says Beoble instead of people!). His frequent criticism has got to her, she started lacking self confidence.. she started taking him out shopping with her for him to pick her clothes so that she would wear stuff that he likes, she dyed her hair with the color he suggested, she went on diets, and the 'Beast' even convinced her that she needs a nose job!
Unfortunately many of us who fall in love start changing their looks and behaviours according to the endless list men have for what they want in a lady, and when you manage to complete the requirement list he will come up with new 'fixing' tasks for you so that you would always feel less about yourself. That gives men an upper hand.. a control over you and over your relationship to prove his 'manhood'. wake up ladies! if he likes blonde hair why the hell did he get into a relationship with you knowing that you have black hair! unless he is colorblind there is no excuse for him. So please.. i am begging all of you not to fall in this trap and hold on to your self confidence, if he doesn't like you the way you are then hell with him!
So back to 'Beauty'.. after her blind acceptance to all his 'requirements' and amusingly creative image he had in mind for his perfect match, he started acting different.. His phone line would be busy for hours at midnight, he doesn't SMS her back , or if he did, it would be after hours of getting her SMS.. He used to tell her he was on the phone with his cousin talking about important stuff, or he is discussing a family issue with his father, and the excuses were infinite.. She never had any doubt that what he is lying to her, she never imagined he would! Until one day she called him many times at night and he didn't pick up, she got really worried about him and decided to go to his house and check if his car is parked outside, so she stopped her car infront of his house to see him sitting outside in his garden with a lady and they looked like they were really enjoying their time. At first he didn't see her, so she called him another time on his cell phone and saw him looking at his phone and putting it back on the table and innocently continuing his interesting discussion with that lady. So 'Beauty' parked her car, went to his doorsteps and told him she needed to talk to him for a minute in her car.. he followed her to the car sat down and closed the door, and with a cold heartless voice he said "hey sweetheart, how are you? " !!! She was numb and she couldn't feel her legs, she also lost the ability of speech .. she couldn't say one single word. He got mad at her for being quiet and not answering his "how are you" question.. he asked what was wrong with her and got closer and wanted to hug her, she pushed him away and told him not to touch her or get near her. Then he told her that the girl who was sitting with him is his neighbour and they got to know each other lately, and he couldn't pick up her phone because he was in a middle of a conversation and felt it was 'rude' to pick up his phone while talking to that lady.
She got really pissed off and had her first argument with him that involved another woman, he managed to escape the blame and she gave in to his excuses and lies and decided to forget about what happened and to protect their love.
'Beauty' was invited to a small gathering her friend had, there were a bunch of girls gossiping and talking and one of them mentioned that she caught her bf cheating on her by letting one of her friends add him on FB. The idea crawled to her brain and got glued up covering all her beliefs of not to play games and the importance of communication and honesty in any relationship. She asked for Joy's help and of course she got what she asked for.
He previously asked 'Beauty' to delete all her male friends from her list because he said he cared for her and her reputation and didn't want guys to get access to her photos and information. She asked him to delete all his female friends in return but he said he is a man and that will not hurt his reputation and that they were all his colleagues from university or work, then he stressed on the point that she had to trust him and without trust their love will not survive.. of course she had to do everything for their 'love' to survive so she did what he asked her to do.
Now Joy added him to her list, he accepted the request on the spot and started flooding her with flirty compliments.. they started chatting and when 'Beauty' used to call him during his intimate chats, he would turn his phone to silent mode.. and after the chat is over he would call 'Beauty' and tell her he was at the gym or his phone was charging or he was taking a long rejuvenating bath. After couple of chat sessions with Joy, 'Beast' started to get more intimate and started to open 'hot' topics such as asking about her bra size, the color of her panties, how far did she go with a man and so on.. Joy started playing along to see how far would he go and what secrets could he reveal about his intimate life. Joy asked him if he was single and of course the answer was YES, but he said he has multiple 'friends with benefits' to keep him going.. he started describing to her the last time he was with one of them and he told Joy he is looking forward to being next to her and show her his magical abilities in satisfying a woman.. he gave her his phone number and asked her to call him whenever she likes and he promised to be at her place after 15 minutes from her call.
'Beauty' had an emotional breakdown when she read the chat sessions, there was something inside of her that believed he wouldn't chat with Joy or even add her to his FB the first place.. She grabbed the phone and told him all about it and started lecturing him of the importance and value of decency and good manners (we usually turn into priests and preachers in such cases, get it ladies.. they will not get a word you say and non of what you said is going to make him admit his fault) He swore by all prophets that ever existed that he didn't do anything wrong and that he was only curious to know who that girl was (and of course the color of her panties!) then he told 'Beauty' that he is a man and again nothing will hurt his reputation (I will make sure to not only hurt his reputation, but destroy it) and that what happened is not considered cheating or betrayal and that the love he has for 'Beauty' is in his heart ( then I am sure he has love in each organ in his body each for a different woman).
'Beauty' ended her relationship with the 'Beast' and tried her best to recover the pain he caused her.. He tried calling her many times and sent her so many SMS messages but she never read them nor replied. One day she got shocked when she knew he called her at home and told her mother he wanted to propose and get married to her, but the bitterness he caused her made her tell her mother that she doesn't want anything to do with that man... The great Chris Rock mentioned in one of his stand ups that men use the 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you' card when they really really really mess up.. so if your man tells you he wants to marry you all of a sudden make sure he did something nasty! and i believe he is right..
Men think that any woman would be hypnotized when he say he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, so he thinks she will totally forget about him cheating on her, hitting her, abusing her, spending her money..etc
Well sorry to tell you guys, most women nowadays rather die single than to be with your sorry asses! so please enough with the ' i want to marry you ' trick .. WON'T WORK
So 'Beauty' darling.. unless 'Prince Charming' showed up in your life do not get into a relationship.. and please please please dye your hair black, just the way it was and let the 'Beast Pervert' look for the blondy he always fantasized about..
They met on her first day joining a well known telecom company, it was his first day too.. our victim which i will refer to as 'Beauty' has a hard to get character by nature, she knows she is very pretty and has a lovely personality which is why she walks with her head up all the time. He started trying to get closer to her, he asked to join her during their lunch breaks, compliment her on her new haircut, throw funny jokes here and there.. at first she didn't pay any attention to him, but the guy was so perssistant that his plan actually worked!
After one year of dating she found a better job so she decided to quit and join another company, so he decided to quit as well saying it will be impossible to keep working in the same company without her being around.. at that moment she thought she now owns the world, and she started loving him even more..
They stayed together for two years, during that time he intentionally used to make her lose her self confidence.. he used to criticize they way she dressed, her makeup, the way she laughed, even that fact that she speaks very good English claiming that Arabs should hold on to their language ( of course he wants to hold on to his language.. he says Beoble instead of people!). His frequent criticism has got to her, she started lacking self confidence.. she started taking him out shopping with her for him to pick her clothes so that she would wear stuff that he likes, she dyed her hair with the color he suggested, she went on diets, and the 'Beast' even convinced her that she needs a nose job!
Unfortunately many of us who fall in love start changing their looks and behaviours according to the endless list men have for what they want in a lady, and when you manage to complete the requirement list he will come up with new 'fixing' tasks for you so that you would always feel less about yourself. That gives men an upper hand.. a control over you and over your relationship to prove his 'manhood'. wake up ladies! if he likes blonde hair why the hell did he get into a relationship with you knowing that you have black hair! unless he is colorblind there is no excuse for him. So please.. i am begging all of you not to fall in this trap and hold on to your self confidence, if he doesn't like you the way you are then hell with him!
So back to 'Beauty'.. after her blind acceptance to all his 'requirements' and amusingly creative image he had in mind for his perfect match, he started acting different.. His phone line would be busy for hours at midnight, he doesn't SMS her back , or if he did, it would be after hours of getting her SMS.. He used to tell her he was on the phone with his cousin talking about important stuff, or he is discussing a family issue with his father, and the excuses were infinite.. She never had any doubt that what he is lying to her, she never imagined he would! Until one day she called him many times at night and he didn't pick up, she got really worried about him and decided to go to his house and check if his car is parked outside, so she stopped her car infront of his house to see him sitting outside in his garden with a lady and they looked like they were really enjoying their time. At first he didn't see her, so she called him another time on his cell phone and saw him looking at his phone and putting it back on the table and innocently continuing his interesting discussion with that lady. So 'Beauty' parked her car, went to his doorsteps and told him she needed to talk to him for a minute in her car.. he followed her to the car sat down and closed the door, and with a cold heartless voice he said "hey sweetheart, how are you? " !!! She was numb and she couldn't feel her legs, she also lost the ability of speech .. she couldn't say one single word. He got mad at her for being quiet and not answering his "how are you" question.. he asked what was wrong with her and got closer and wanted to hug her, she pushed him away and told him not to touch her or get near her. Then he told her that the girl who was sitting with him is his neighbour and they got to know each other lately, and he couldn't pick up her phone because he was in a middle of a conversation and felt it was 'rude' to pick up his phone while talking to that lady.
She got really pissed off and had her first argument with him that involved another woman, he managed to escape the blame and she gave in to his excuses and lies and decided to forget about what happened and to protect their love.
'Beauty' was invited to a small gathering her friend had, there were a bunch of girls gossiping and talking and one of them mentioned that she caught her bf cheating on her by letting one of her friends add him on FB. The idea crawled to her brain and got glued up covering all her beliefs of not to play games and the importance of communication and honesty in any relationship. She asked for Joy's help and of course she got what she asked for.
He previously asked 'Beauty' to delete all her male friends from her list because he said he cared for her and her reputation and didn't want guys to get access to her photos and information. She asked him to delete all his female friends in return but he said he is a man and that will not hurt his reputation and that they were all his colleagues from university or work, then he stressed on the point that she had to trust him and without trust their love will not survive.. of course she had to do everything for their 'love' to survive so she did what he asked her to do.
Now Joy added him to her list, he accepted the request on the spot and started flooding her with flirty compliments.. they started chatting and when 'Beauty' used to call him during his intimate chats, he would turn his phone to silent mode.. and after the chat is over he would call 'Beauty' and tell her he was at the gym or his phone was charging or he was taking a long rejuvenating bath. After couple of chat sessions with Joy, 'Beast' started to get more intimate and started to open 'hot' topics such as asking about her bra size, the color of her panties, how far did she go with a man and so on.. Joy started playing along to see how far would he go and what secrets could he reveal about his intimate life. Joy asked him if he was single and of course the answer was YES, but he said he has multiple 'friends with benefits' to keep him going.. he started describing to her the last time he was with one of them and he told Joy he is looking forward to being next to her and show her his magical abilities in satisfying a woman.. he gave her his phone number and asked her to call him whenever she likes and he promised to be at her place after 15 minutes from her call.
'Beauty' had an emotional breakdown when she read the chat sessions, there was something inside of her that believed he wouldn't chat with Joy or even add her to his FB the first place.. She grabbed the phone and told him all about it and started lecturing him of the importance and value of decency and good manners (we usually turn into priests and preachers in such cases, get it ladies.. they will not get a word you say and non of what you said is going to make him admit his fault) He swore by all prophets that ever existed that he didn't do anything wrong and that he was only curious to know who that girl was (and of course the color of her panties!) then he told 'Beauty' that he is a man and again nothing will hurt his reputation (I will make sure to not only hurt his reputation, but destroy it) and that what happened is not considered cheating or betrayal and that the love he has for 'Beauty' is in his heart ( then I am sure he has love in each organ in his body each for a different woman).
'Beauty' ended her relationship with the 'Beast' and tried her best to recover the pain he caused her.. He tried calling her many times and sent her so many SMS messages but she never read them nor replied. One day she got shocked when she knew he called her at home and told her mother he wanted to propose and get married to her, but the bitterness he caused her made her tell her mother that she doesn't want anything to do with that man... The great Chris Rock mentioned in one of his stand ups that men use the 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you' card when they really really really mess up.. so if your man tells you he wants to marry you all of a sudden make sure he did something nasty! and i believe he is right..
Men think that any woman would be hypnotized when he say he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, so he thinks she will totally forget about him cheating on her, hitting her, abusing her, spending her money..etc
Well sorry to tell you guys, most women nowadays rather die single than to be with your sorry asses! so please enough with the ' i want to marry you ' trick .. WON'T WORK
So 'Beauty' darling.. unless 'Prince Charming' showed up in your life do not get into a relationship.. and please please please dye your hair black, just the way it was and let the 'Beast Pervert' look for the blondy he always fantasized about..
10/15/09
You think LaLa land men are unfaithful?? Wait until you meet this GaGa land man !
It is Joy's second victim.. a lovely Arab lady that lives in Lady GaGa's country. The victim (which I am going to refer to as 'M' ) is 27 years old, beautiful, smart, intellectual, independent, and has a heart of an angel. She is like a mosaic art piece that is crafted with rare gemstones that are rich with heritage and glamour. She has been living away from her family since college, and she is now working with a reputable company and trying to make the best out of her life. She is like no ordinary Arab lady, she is very open minded ( and by open minded i do not mean she wears revealing clothes, smoke cigarettes in public, or drink alcohol as some of you may think) she is open minded in a way that she accepts opposite or different people, ideas, or perceptions without any judgments.
'M' fell in love with an American dude who is 39 years old, she has always been attracted to older men since she is so mature and can't deal with men her age who are most of the times immature and irresponsible (that is my judgment not hers.. she just says I am more attracted to older men). They got to know each other through match.com since most of the singles there do not have the time to socialize as much as Arabs do.
They have been together for 7 months and they both loved each other dearly, he proposed to her a while back and his proposal was 'scripted' like we see in romantic movies. Obviously she did not introduce him to the Arab procedures of proposal where the mother and sisters of the groom first visit the bride's house and make mental notes of what the bride was wearing, what her mother seemed like, what area they live in, how fancy their furniture is, what did they offer them to drink or eat.. and the list goes on. If that visit turned positive, then they go for a second visit with the groom and his father and the father usually 'proposes' to the bride's father and they discuss some kind of a barter deal such as the amount of gold provided to the bride, how much money she is getting to buy a totally new wardrobe and lingerie, the amount of money she will be getting if they get a divorce.. and if they agreed on everything, then the father of the bride asks the father of the groom to give him some time to think, the thinking process actually means a background check!! he starts asking people around about the man who proposed and his family tree.. if the results were positive that means the 'proposal' has been successful.
So the poor American guy bought a nice diamond ring and thought now they can live happily ever after!! 'M' decided to make sure his proposal is sincere before she goes through the nearly impossible mission of convincing her family of an American man. She has caught multiple virtual cheating attempts throughout their relationship and each time it happened he used to defend himself and promise her not to do it again..
So here comes Joy to the rescue! Joy added him on her FB and the conversation was the following:
Joy:
How are you? your bulldog looks so cute. (he had a photo with his bulldog on FB)
He:
I am well, how are you? My bulldogs name is Bambino, he is a super cute guy. Where do I know you from?
Joy:
You don't know me , it was suggested to me to Add you since we both had interest in some facebook application , so i added you and checked out your profile :). I'm half American, half Arab, i spend most of my time in US but i go back home to see some family and friends.
He:
nice!! It is interesting because I travel to the middle east often, and I usually date Arabic women. What a coincidence. Very nice to meet you.
Joy:
Thanks Nice to meet you too.
He:
where in the US do you reside?
Joy:
I live in *********
He:
My house is walking distance to the town very nice.You are back home now? If you have a cell # I could give you a call.
Joy:
you mentioned that you date arabic women, so i assumed you were single, im sorry i didnt mean anything by saying it would be nice to meet up with you. I just like to meet new people everyday and if there is any connection i take it from there. I hope to meet you soon and will email you as soon as i get back so we can talk over the phone and meet.
He:
yes i am single and i would love to meet you as soon as you get back.
That is all she needed to know.. bearing in mind that this conversation between Joy and him happened only few days after his breathtaking proposal! she ended it quietly and elegantly without mentioning anything that has to do with Joy.
I love you 'M' .. and screw you Poker Face!!!
'M' fell in love with an American dude who is 39 years old, she has always been attracted to older men since she is so mature and can't deal with men her age who are most of the times immature and irresponsible (that is my judgment not hers.. she just says I am more attracted to older men). They got to know each other through match.com since most of the singles there do not have the time to socialize as much as Arabs do.
They have been together for 7 months and they both loved each other dearly, he proposed to her a while back and his proposal was 'scripted' like we see in romantic movies. Obviously she did not introduce him to the Arab procedures of proposal where the mother and sisters of the groom first visit the bride's house and make mental notes of what the bride was wearing, what her mother seemed like, what area they live in, how fancy their furniture is, what did they offer them to drink or eat.. and the list goes on. If that visit turned positive, then they go for a second visit with the groom and his father and the father usually 'proposes' to the bride's father and they discuss some kind of a barter deal such as the amount of gold provided to the bride, how much money she is getting to buy a totally new wardrobe and lingerie, the amount of money she will be getting if they get a divorce.. and if they agreed on everything, then the father of the bride asks the father of the groom to give him some time to think, the thinking process actually means a background check!! he starts asking people around about the man who proposed and his family tree.. if the results were positive that means the 'proposal' has been successful.
So the poor American guy bought a nice diamond ring and thought now they can live happily ever after!! 'M' decided to make sure his proposal is sincere before she goes through the nearly impossible mission of convincing her family of an American man. She has caught multiple virtual cheating attempts throughout their relationship and each time it happened he used to defend himself and promise her not to do it again..
So here comes Joy to the rescue! Joy added him on her FB and the conversation was the following:
Joy:
How are you? your bulldog looks so cute. (he had a photo with his bulldog on FB)
He:
I am well, how are you? My bulldogs name is Bambino, he is a super cute guy. Where do I know you from?
Joy:
You don't know me , it was suggested to me to Add you since we both had interest in some facebook application , so i added you and checked out your profile :). I'm half American, half Arab, i spend most of my time in US but i go back home to see some family and friends.
He:
nice!! It is interesting because I travel to the middle east often, and I usually date Arabic women. What a coincidence. Very nice to meet you.
Joy:
Thanks Nice to meet you too.
He:
where in the US do you reside?
Joy:
I live in *********
He:
My house is walking distance to the town very nice.You are back home now? If you have a cell # I could give you a call.
Joy:
you mentioned that you date arabic women, so i assumed you were single, im sorry i didnt mean anything by saying it would be nice to meet up with you. I just like to meet new people everyday and if there is any connection i take it from there. I hope to meet you soon and will email you as soon as i get back so we can talk over the phone and meet.
He:
yes i am single and i would love to meet you as soon as you get back.
That is all she needed to know.. bearing in mind that this conversation between Joy and him happened only few days after his breathtaking proposal! she ended it quietly and elegantly without mentioning anything that has to do with Joy.
I love you 'M' .. and screw you Poker Face!!!
10/14/09
Feetnotes that became Footnotes!
These are the feetnotes that our first victim wrote to her X when he first swept her off her feet:
The Unexperienced Part of Heaven
So i come to realize that I am now in heaven and heaven is in me.. Since i am currently located on earth which includes not only souls, but perceptions and ego, I had to protect that heaven that I am in and the one that is inside of me, so i started building a strong unbreakable fence around this holly thing with the thought of Gabriel harassing me with every brick i firmly push next to the other. I have a strong faith that he will come one day with his superior wings and sharp sword and he will shed and crash the fence i am building and turn it into tiny pieces just because he felt insulted by it!
Gabriel has always been the king of all guardian angels, he is the sole protector of everything the 'collective' human mind labels as bad. But why would i thrive to build a fence that is so unbreakable when i desperately want him to come and break it? well i guess it is because i believe in him so much to an extend that i am sure he will always be and do more than I myself expect.
I can't imagine what more could he be! he is loving and caring, strong and protective over me, handsome and confident, and most important he will be standing day and night on the trace of my fence that he crashed in order to be a part of my heaven, and to protect it like no fence or wall ever did.
So until he comes, i am now painting my my fence that i finished building with the most colorful colors known, part of it to keep me surrounded by beauty and the other part is a genuine attempt to make my fence so flashy and notable hoping that it would make Gabriel notice and rush into replacing it with his presence. As long as we breathe the same mystic air i will come.. he whispered.
As we know angels keep their promises, especially the guardian angels.. but he wasnt any guardian angel he was Gabriel. Now that he is here, no words can describe what he is like.. he is truly the king of all kings, the king of my heart..
- Victim
Footnotes
Oh man! If the real Gabriel is reading this post and the previous one, I am sure he will retire on the exact same moment and give his throne to a homeless wacko.. thinking that the homeless dude will now have a new 'colorful' place to live in, which in return will slightly decrease the number of homeless people on the streets!
Or maybe give his throne to a police officer or a security guard to keep that helpless poor girl and her heaven safe! (in my opinion she needs to be locked in a room temprature room that has no windows to make her feel protected).
The real Gabriel is now sure that any homeless dude, wacko, police officer, or a security guard will be a perfect 'Gabriel' match if that ****** X of hers managed to be one!
The Unexperienced Part of Heaven
So i come to realize that I am now in heaven and heaven is in me.. Since i am currently located on earth which includes not only souls, but perceptions and ego, I had to protect that heaven that I am in and the one that is inside of me, so i started building a strong unbreakable fence around this holly thing with the thought of Gabriel harassing me with every brick i firmly push next to the other. I have a strong faith that he will come one day with his superior wings and sharp sword and he will shed and crash the fence i am building and turn it into tiny pieces just because he felt insulted by it!
Gabriel has always been the king of all guardian angels, he is the sole protector of everything the 'collective' human mind labels as bad. But why would i thrive to build a fence that is so unbreakable when i desperately want him to come and break it? well i guess it is because i believe in him so much to an extend that i am sure he will always be and do more than I myself expect.
I can't imagine what more could he be! he is loving and caring, strong and protective over me, handsome and confident, and most important he will be standing day and night on the trace of my fence that he crashed in order to be a part of my heaven, and to protect it like no fence or wall ever did.
So until he comes, i am now painting my my fence that i finished building with the most colorful colors known, part of it to keep me surrounded by beauty and the other part is a genuine attempt to make my fence so flashy and notable hoping that it would make Gabriel notice and rush into replacing it with his presence. As long as we breathe the same mystic air i will come.. he whispered.
As we know angels keep their promises, especially the guardian angels.. but he wasnt any guardian angel he was Gabriel. Now that he is here, no words can describe what he is like.. he is truly the king of all kings, the king of my heart..
- Victim
Footnotes
Oh man! If the real Gabriel is reading this post and the previous one, I am sure he will retire on the exact same moment and give his throne to a homeless wacko.. thinking that the homeless dude will now have a new 'colorful' place to live in, which in return will slightly decrease the number of homeless people on the streets!
Or maybe give his throne to a police officer or a security guard to keep that helpless poor girl and her heaven safe! (in my opinion she needs to be locked in a room temprature room that has no windows to make her feel protected).
The real Gabriel is now sure that any homeless dude, wacko, police officer, or a security guard will be a perfect 'Gabriel' match if that ****** X of hers managed to be one!
Oh Boy.. Here comes Joy
Joy has a duty call, her first task is to add that dude as a friend on Facebook and get to know how far would he go baring in mind that he is already in a relationship. So she wrote his name on the search box, got couple of matches, added her target at 11:47 pm, and he accepted her friend's request at 11:51 pm. Joy received a facebook message from him at 11:55 pm and the private FB message conversation was the following:
(His Name)
cute.... :)
Joy
Merci
(His Name)
You Welcome :)
(His Name)
So Joy added him to her MSN and they started chatting for an hour or so, he introduced himself and told her about his great job and how he is handling the whole Middle East area ( he doesn't even handle one block away from where he works), and that he owns a nice apartment back in his home town ( he owns a mobile phone, fake RayBan sunglasses, and an Ipod shuffle.. nothing more) and that he USED to have a gf a while back (just before they started their chat!) and they broke up because she was too demanding. WoW!!
After a couple of chat sessions that took place late at night (while he is supposedly sleeping), he asked her for her phone number to take this into the next level. Joy refused to give him her number which created a challenge for him, and he started pursuing her even more thinking that she is playing hard to get. He started to chat with her til dawn on weekdays, check her picture and profile every day, get mad if she wasn't online one night, get jealous when she tells him she is going out with her friends...etc
The guy got hooked to Joy! while in fact he has a beautiful and smart gf who loves him more than anything..
So confession time has just arrived, the gf admits to him briefly that she was the one who made Joy contact him, then jumped into the fireworks fight. She was shaking and crying and she spoke 1000 words a minute trying to fit in as much humiliating words as she could. It took him couple of minutes to digest the idea that he got caught, then he said: " You think I'm stupid!! I knew it was you, and i wanted to see how far will you go with your stupid childish acts", then he sensed that she might have believed him so he goes on " What are you trying to do? everything you are doing is pushing us apart.. Grow up! " and he hang up the phone.
WoW!! she almost bought that BS! the confused, poor girl had an actual doubt that he might have known from the beginning that it was her who sent Joy and he wanted to play along as he claims. Luckily, Joy likes documentation, she keeps a copy of all her chat sessions and emails in a safe file named after each victim , and by victim i mean the girl's name. So the gf goes through all the chat sessions and e-mails to figure out if he really knew she was involved or not, she started reading the first couple of sessions carefully then she dropped into tears.. From that moment, the imaginary X she once drew on that guy, turned into not being able to visualize the guy himself in order to draw another X. He completely vanished from her heart and mind, leaving a harsh grudge against all Adams.
And that was Joy's first experience with men's LaLa Land and women's crashed hopes of having a faithful partner.
10/13/09
Expeppermint Experiment
The reason i picked this title is because we are bringing back the Ex factor with a refreshing peppermint twist! by Ex factor i mean your last ex bf or any man that journeyed through your life and after countless screwing up and endless chances you gave him, you decided to draw an imaginary big bold red X on him that starts from the tip of his head down to his feet
You finally stood up for yourself and decided to get over him and enjoy the other aspects of life. You go shopping, go out with your friends, focus on your job or whatever you do in life until you meet your biggest challenge.. Boredom. Let's admit it, he used to call you early in the morning, text message you all day, maybe chat on MSN while you are at work, meet up for coffee later in the evening to argue about what he did or about that top of yours that revealed a glimpse of your flesh... whatever it was, it used to keep you busy.
Now you have tons of free time and a quiet mobile phone that you check every two seconds to make sure its still alive. Now you try to fight the urge to contact him,so you decided to keep yourself busy which means frequent naps, searching for a new lover either by going back in memory and contacting guys that have previously tried to hit on you but you were blindly in love and kept them in the 'friends' zone, or by clinging to the first new guy that approaches you. If you managed to grab a new a guy into your vacant lover spot, It won't
be long until you are going to feel miserable again realizing that he isn't your type and you just invited him into your life simply because you were bored and you were longing for attention.
Now your second challenge comes up.. you get a text message from your X at 2:30 am on a Friday telling you that he missed you so much and he wish he could invent a time machine that would take him back in time in order to fix what happened between you two. You are pretty sure he is wasted and probably just dropped his new fling home after a wild night, but your heart still tingles and you decide to wake up all your friends that night telling them about the message you got from him and forwarding it to them as if you don't believe it yourself! you start surveying whether you should reply to him or not and if the answer is yes what should you say. All your friends advised you not to reply and you promised them you won't.. but then, and after an hour of meditating on it you decided to send him a mean message expressing how he broke your heart and the pain he caused you, with a few curses here and there, and of course you couldn't sleep that night.
The next day he called you, and out of curiosity, you pick up with a cold tone of voice and a formal greeting.. you started talking and bringing back the past when he asked if you could meet over coffee and discuss what happened between you. I guess you already know where that led them.. they got back together.
Now you try your best to shine his image in front of your friends after the explosions you created to his reputation and after you revealed his darkest secrets that you promised not to tell to a soul. You start new and close the previous page until the third challenge hits you.. Doubt.
You start doubting everything he says, you get a feeling that he might be still seeing that Blondy that he used to talk to after you broke up the first time.. you doubt whether his mobile battery really died or he went out with someone. Your doubts will start to eat you alive ... until you meet Joy!
LIVE OUT LOUD.. 'LOL'
So i was born the minute Tamara created my Live email, it seemed difficult at first being born in this World very Wide Web. I felt more secure moving around with my Live ID you know, just incase i get stopped by any website operator requiring me to register using my ID.
My first destination was a hip trendy networking website called Facebook, i thought its a great idea getting involved in a website that involves faces and books!! so a beautiful face was created for me and the first page of my book was written.
Now that i have the face and couple of pages of a book that includes my personal info, it was time to fit in with the other faces on Facebook. I started adding potential friends based on their face and the first couple of words written in their book, i also started getting so many friends requests on a daily basis until the number of friends on my list reached 120. I also added three photo albums of me in different occasions that i haven't personally been in since i cant get out of the web, but luckily, Tamara managed to fit me in them. There are also many cool applications I added such as "Date of the day" which gives me the chance to date a different celebrity each day!
Gladly i got the chance to get to know the people on my friend's list, they were very nice and gave me great compliments. I communicate with them on a regular basis, some of them i added
on MSN to further enhance the relashionship and get to know each other better.
So now and after 14 Micsrosoft calendar days i became officially one of them... 'an active Facebooker' !
10/12/09
AVATAR
Hello, my name is Joy and Iam 28 years old living in Jbeil - Lebanon. Here is a little bit more about me:
Born in 15th of February 1981, that's right one day after St. Valentine's Day
Raised in Jbeil, a beautiful Lebanese city with a rich heritage and a breathtaking nature
Christian Catholic
I have loving parents and one younger sister
I love dancing, music, travelling, and reading magazines
Very liberal
I have long black shiny hair, brown sparkling eyes, curvy body, and a great sense of style
Went through couple of failed relationships, the last one ended couple of months back meaning im now SINGLE
And most important, I do not exist in reality.. I am created by my master Tamara on a hip networking website called Facebook!
* Please note that we are not talking about a 'Fake' Facebook account. All the data, information, and images are genuine of that Joyous Joy character.
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