10/31/09

'Scratch and Win' Part 2

I was supposed to post this a week or more ago as i promised, but again, people tend  to not keep their promises.. so prepare yourself for dissapointment until you reach a point where you never take any promise seriously. Oh..I forgot, I also changed my mind regarding this topic.. I figured out that you do not need to scratch in order to win, infact you do not have to win or care about winning.. He should be scratching his way into winning your heart and you should be sitting on that judge chair just like Paula Abdul on American Idol observing your candidates and their best performances then deciding wether they deserve to go on the second round or not. Below is a list of contestants that you should vote NO to from the first try:
  • The Married Man - Never ever get involved with someone as long as they are in a commited relationship, no matter how dramatic he claims his  relationship to be, as long as he is a part of this dramatic scene stay at least 1000 miles away from his stage. You do not want to be that home wrecker who made him walk away from his family, so just keep your distance.
  • The Negative Man - He always complains about everything in his life, he hates almost everyone and everything, and you can't see him smiling or laughing unless the alcohol percentage in his body reached 80%.
  • The Kiddo - You know women are the new men nowadays.. We do not want a child to take care of, we want a grown up to take care of us. If he relies on you to wake him up at 7:00 AM to go to his work, or to remind him of his car payments at the end of each month, or drive him home on a Friday night because he is too wasted to get his ass back home that means he is a kiddo and he want a mommy not a partner.
  • The Drama King - Oh those are my favorites!! I tend to be a magnet for the drama kings in the world.. They feed on sadness and tragedy, as long as you both are happy together and you are not fighting he isn't satisfied.. The second a fight occurs, he is a new person!!  He starts to listen to the saddest songs ever, grow his beard, cry to his friends, your friends, and anyone he sees on the streets! He stares at your pictures for hours and write poems.. then when you get back together he will be counting the minutes for your next argument.
  • The Bragger - I hate those men who think they can trick you to think he is so rich and powerful.. you know we are going to find out that you own a Honda Civic! and the Ferrari that you say is at the workshop is just an illusion of your own fantacies.. Im not saying Hondas aren't cool, Im just saying don't be ashamed of what you have.
  • The Womanizer - Those are the most dangerous because of the charm they reflect, and you will actually believe he will change and you will make him love you and forget about the trillion other women in his life. Well guess what.. He won't! The womanizer lusts the varieties of women out there, and no matter how hard you try to combine all the attributes of all the women in you, you won't succeed. Well maybe you will if you dye half your hair blonde and half black.. one blue contact lense in one eye and the other green.. don't alienize yourself, cause im telling you.. you will look like an alien!
Those are the men who must not go to Vegas!!  Watch out ladies and judge well..